Like I promised on my Instagram account, I’m writing something about what happened in the last couple of weeks and months, so here it is.
Technically what happened is that I slowly had more and more difficulty with making healthy choices, which finally ended with being off track for about 2 months. And when I say off track I mean OFF track, like eating junk all day, next to no mealprepping, no gym. I still tried to keep contact with some of my fit friends and I was still accepting fitbit challenges. Doing that, I got to the point where I realised what needed to be done.
Now the emotional part, because really, my eating is just a way of coping. What I’m going to write now are reasons why I think it went south, you can also interpret them as excuses, anything that works for you is fine by me 🙂 So at the beginning of this year, I started my residency. It was really exciting and something I worked very hard for. I knew it was difficult and very time consuming, but it is what I really want, so I went for it. In april I started working at a very busy ward, came home late, tired and had to endure a lot of stress at work with very sick people. Around that time, I also met the love of my life. I struggled with the lack of time, meeting him on my day off, where I usually would go to the gym. Slowly, I started to get worse at prepping and gymming and that’s where it really went south. The fact that my guy repeatedly told me that he loves me whatever weight I am and that he doesn’t like skinny women also didn’t help haha! So stupid, I know, but the mind is stupid sometimes…..
So at one point I felt like this is enough, especially when my guy and I were talking about clothes and I felt like I didn’t feel good in my clothes anymore. I talked with some of my fit friends about it and came to the conclusion that I needed to talk with my guy about the fact that I need to get back on track and that I needed his help. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame him for anything, it’s just that I need his support and need him to understand that it’s important to me. So we had a long talk which finally cleared the path for me to get back on track. I have agreed with my guy that he’ll weigh me while I have my eyes closed. Why? I don’t want to focus on weight, but on getting back on track and have good habits. I know when I’m on track/off track and don’t need the scale to tell me that. I will slowly feel better in my clothes, which is more important that the number on the scale.
In the end, I’m very happy that I was able to stop before I got to my old weight, which is what happened throughout my life!